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I bought a twelve year old whiskey......
I bought an apartment building in heaven....
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday....
I broke up with my vegetarian gf over......
I brought Indian bread to my wife's parent's house for an appetizer on Xmas, but my father in law would not accept it....
I called my Insurance Agent and said "I crawled up inside one of those big square air conditioning tubes in the ceiling and I'm stuck!...
I can fight off a single triangle......
I can tolerate algebra, and maybe even a little calculus....
I can't believe Donald Trump is still...
I can't believe I came last at the......
I can't believe that I lost some features......
I can't stand innuendo....
I can't stand my neighbors....
I can't STAND you people who use Italian words in your sentences to sound all smart and "sophisticated"....
I can't take my dog to the park anymore....
I chased a man through an apartment block today....
I confronted my neighbor when I found out it was him who had secretly tapped into three water sources on my property....
I couldn't find the tool I use to flatten down the gravel in my walkway, and pitched an absolute fit....
I couldn't get an A in science......
I dated a girl who tried to convince me that deep-freezing my penis was "sexy"....
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