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  • I failed my history exam because I said that Reagan and McDonald were first in flight....

  • I failed my paper on condensation....

  • I failed to qualify for legal work representing......

  • I failed to qualify for work removing gold......

  • I failed to qualify for work singing like a soprano sheep....

  • I farted to make my kid laugh but instead I just disgusted my wife....

  • I feel bad for plumbers who install those fancy water heaters that hang on the wall....

  • I feel like Hollandaise....

  • I fell into a septic tank......

  • I fell off a book once......

  • I felt so bad for accidentally destroying...

  • I find it absolutely ridiculous that some people......

  • I find it completely unfair that I only have one brother....

  • I find it disgusting that the head of......

  • I find long discussions about crossdressing men...

  • I forgot my wife's birthday and she was mad at me....

  • I forgot to wash my bedspread with the rest of the laundry....

  • I found a box of Viagra last night, the stupid things didn't work....

  • I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today....

  • I found a wooden shoe in my toilet......

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