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  • The mods keep removing my joke about drinking water....

  • The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies....

  • The most NSFW thing....

  • The older I get, the more I regret all the people I've lost over the years....

  • The only time it's good to yell out "I have diarrhea!...

  • The opposite of pro is con......

  • The origami boxing match was showing the other night....

  • The other day I saw a baguette in a cage....

  • The other day my friend spilled purple juice on his purple shirt....

  • The other day, I heard an offensive pun comparing a marathon to a 100 meter dash....

  • The other day, I was at Walmart....

  • The person who invented autocorrect...

  • The person who named The English Channel missed a big opportunity....

  • The pillowcase business isn't what it's cracked up......

  • The president was scheduled to speak in front of Hoover dam as a scenic backdrop....

  • The President with irritated eyes?...

  • The priest at my church turns into a whole another person during communion services....

  • The prison inmate didn't like the proposed escape......

  • The problem with math jokes....

  • The professional bowlers tried to start a labor union, but they were terrible negotiators....

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