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I pissed on an electric fence some years ago....
I quit smoking cold turkey....
i rarely tell dad jokes....
I really hate One Direction fans......
I replaced some dead light bulbs today......
I saw an animated image of someone doing an oil change....
I saw four homeless dudes playing a few......
I saw some people meditating around a circle......
I saw the man who has the fastest......
I spent the whole of the day rearranging......
I started a Pearl Jam cover band where we all play with our feet....
I swallowed a watch yesterday......
I sympathize with batteries......
I thought I could just slice bread, pop it in the toaster and be done....
I thought I could use my fireplace to......
I threw a surprise birthday party for my......
I told my kids to call me Poopenheimer......
I told my solar installer that I wasn't......
I took my friend to see the world's biggest fan for his birthday....
I tried dating a defensive lineman....
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