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Asked my local takeaway shop to top up......
At a wedding reception the best man announced,......
At any random bar, the bartender to a lady....
At supper, my daughter slides her empty milk glass over to me....
At the bar, a talking shot glass waltzed in and asked to be filled with bourbon, syrup and bitters....
Bartender, when I said I wanted a two finger pour....
bartender: go home you're drunk...
Beer won't make you smart....
Before he lost his leg my best friend and I used to go out drinking all the time....
Believe it or not, Vanilla Ice was the first person to send Microsoft products to your parents....
Bought some V8 at the grocery store......
Bringing lemonade is a must when I've got......
Burritos makes me feel unpleasant....
Canned sodas are the best!...
Cash-strapped General Motors is developing a Cadillac branded energy drink....
cent I used to go fishing with Skrillex......
Chromecast coffee order......
Chuck Norris calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd....
Chuck Norris Once picked a apple off an orange tree....
Dad is getting his annual annual exam, the nurse says "You are almost done, are you able to pee in the cup?...
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