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I found the titanic sub!...
I got fired for telling customers if they wanted "smoking or non-smoking"....
I got hit on the head with a book....
I got shot yesterday....
I guy shoplifted some candy but ate it so fast he choked on it and died....
I heard Jimmy Buffet died because of some woman....
I heard some electrician was killed working on a job in a bakery....
I heard that a guy who works at pub killed Matt groaning....
I heard that an animated movie about zombies is in progress....
I just got bitten by a poisonous snake!...
I just put up an electric fence around my house....
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds....
I just saw Oppenheimer in the theatre today....
I killed my wife by putting lead coins in her Christmas desert....
I knew a guy who thought all books were a communist plot....
I know a murderer in Kingston upon Hull......
I lost my left arm in an accident......
I lost the only pet dolphin I'll ever have....
I muted my phone and now my contacts are gone....
I once lived just a stone's throw away......
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