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How much is a open minded president worth......
How to people gain weight after they die?...
How will we call Ed Sheeran when he will die?...
I always wanted to be a mortician....
I ate natural food....
I bought a new fan today and it's blades are powerful enough to decapitate someone!...
I came home the other evening to a bunch of zombies watching my TV....
I can't believe I've fallen into an Egyptian river....
I can't believe that I've just fallen into a river in Egypt....
I can't tell Dad Jokes anymore......
I converted my car into a personal watercraft, and somehow killed its climate control....
I couldn't find the obituaries in the newspaper......
I dated a zombie once......
I don't listen to stories spoken by skeletons....
I donated my dead dog to the local high school science class....
I drove past a dead opossum and...
I fell off a book once......
I fell out of my tree stand while archery hunting and all of my arrows broke....
I figured out why the titanic submarine imploded....
I finally got my wife to have sex......
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