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Last night a guy got shot by a paint gun....
Last night, I saw somebody get gunned down at a barfight....
Laughing too loudly is illegal in Hawaii......
Let's talk about stealing jokes......
Lingerie bandit escapes!...
Made this one up last night......
Matt Smith in Custody For Breaking Into Animal......
Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh was accused of stealing from a roadwork job when he was in college....
Mining for puns......
Missing someone is a terrible feeling......
More Tom Swifties!...
My 2024 is off to a bad start....
My best friend punched a driver for pulling into the bike lane....
My Brother tried to kill me using Static Electricity....
My car was acting up and not starting....
My child refuses to nap......
My dad used to beat me up every morning as a kid....
My daughter just came up with this one....
My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments....
My family didn't understand when I explained that the FBI hired me to investigate crime involving nickels, dimes, pennies, and quarters....
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