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  • I don't know if tampons are the best invention ever....

  • I dreamt last night that my spirit arose from a toilet bowl....

  • I dropped a vacuum cleaner down a deep hole with water in it....

  • I dug up my footings to sort out some sloping....

  • I entered a lottery to win a new broom!...

  • I failed to qualify for work clearing up......

  • I filled my colander to let it soak....

  • I finished my month-long training at the Acme sponge factory....

  • I forgot two loaves of bread in the......

  • I found out my wife has been cleaning our bank notes in the washing machine....

  • I got hired by wired......

  • I got home from work today to find......

  • I got stuck in traffic yesterday because someone forgot to shut the back door of their dry cleaning van....

  • I got vodka flavored toothpaste....

  • I had a clean tissue....

  • I had a pack of Kleenex in my shorts causing a bump....

  • I had an offer!...

  • I had to change dentists, it was tough......

  • I had to fire the maid....

  • I had to get rid of my old......

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