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  • I hate it when people say age is only a number....

  • I have a deep hatred for people who talk about me when I'm not around....

  • I have a friend called Elizabeth who drinks......

  • I have an aversion to people who are......

  • I heard Steven Spielberg is directing a film about a fat alien....

  • I just found out that "Aaargh!...

  • I just found out that there is a name for when you can't sleep at night so you just eat instead....

  • I just saw a documentary called "Waking Up"......

  • I keep hearing people talking about a 'void....

  • I like reading books about antigravity....

  • I met some aliens from outer space......

  • I never understood how the little drummer boy's parents could just send him outside, alone, at night, so he could play his drum....

  • I never understood odorless chemicals....

  • I never understood the part in the song......

  • I never understood why the French specify it as Waterloo?...

  • I once bought a manure business......

  • I recently broke up with my alien girlfriend......

  • I relocated from one apartment to another....

  • I should have expected that my gardener would print all his documents sideways....

  • I simply cannot understand why Santa Claus is so popular....

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