Today's featured daily humor:
All credit for this one goes to a local radio station that used to do a bit called "Men from Maine" After finishing his first week at his new job at the sawmill, Lem met his friend Eephus at the local bar. E: How was your first week, Lem? L: Not too good, a guy wasn't paying attention and accidentally cut his arm off in the bandsaw. E: Wow!! What did you do? L: Well the EMTs came, put the arm in a plastic bag, reattached it at the hospital, and he was back at work the next day. E: Amazing! The marvels of modern medicine! The next week the two friends met at the bar again. E: How was the sawmill this week, Lem? L: Not great Eephus, a lady slipped on some sawdust, got her leg stuck in the bandsaw and cut it clean off. E: Wow! What did you do? L: Well the EMTs came, put the leg in a plastic bag, reattached it at the hospital, and she was back at work the next day. E: Amazing! The marvels of modern medicine! After another work week the two friends met at the local bar again that Friday night. E: Any accidents at the sawmill this week, Lem? L: Yes Actually! A guy tripped over a board and cut his head off in the bandsaw! E: Let me guess: the EMTs came, put the head in a plastic bag, reattached it at the hospital, and he was back at work the next day? L: No, he died. E: What?!? What happened?! L: Best we can figure he suffocated on the way to the hospital.