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  • My buddy is worried that robots are going......

  • My buddy said that since both our wives were out of town, we absolutely had to go out to dinner and catch a movie together....

  • My contortionist wife wants to do "the pretzel" in bed tonight....

  • My daughter and her boyfriend ran away...

  • My daughter asked what was for dinner....

  • My Eskimo uncle and his wife just bought a new igloo....

  • My ex-wife still misses me......

  • My family all have jacket themed nicknames....

  • My first real Bona dude dad joke......

  • My friend is asking if it's ok to cheat on his wife....

  • My friend married a girl he met at......

  • My friend's wife broke him out of prison....

  • My kids got their good looks from me....

  • My mother told me of a family friend that had recently passed away....

  • My steak always comes out fine....

  • My uncle ate a huge plate of ravioli, two plates of spaghetti bolognese, a huge helping of truffle tagliatelle and some tortellini Alfredo....

  • My wife accused me of stealing her clothes......

  • My wife always burns the pan when cooking eggs and I thought I'd give her some advice....

  • My wife always burns the pan when cooking......

  • My wife always tries to clean the furniture while I'm using it....

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