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  • I mistakenly bought skim milk......

  • I need jokes about food......

  • I nicknamed my girlfriend Honeydew......

  • I ordered some bubble wrap with "Will you marry me?...

  • I phoned a call center today and it said all the advisors were engaged....

  • I played our wedding video backward yesterday....

  • I put a picture of myself in a pendant....

  • I really like my new chandelier....

  • I said to my wife the other day "I completely agree....

  • I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV:...

  • I spent all day blowing up a beautiful balloon arch for my daughter's wedding....

  • I think my wife's cheating on me with......

  • I think that the church should have more prayers then the Hail Mary....

  • I thought my wife was trying to make me jealous when she said she "fancied a newsperson"....

  • I told a girl on a date:...

  • I told my friend that my wife's a genius, and she married me....

  • I told my wife her eyebrows were to......

  • I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine:...

  • I told my wife that the tops of her hands are absolutely stunning and beautiful....

  • I travel to a different town for work so to make things better, I got married to a different woman in both towns....

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