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  • I bumped into a beautiful woman while out....

  • I call elevators elevators....

  • I can barely remember my last trip to the eye doctor....

  • I can build a boat......

  • I can show you how often I've been to Chernobyl using only one hand....

  • I can type with my fingers and toes at the same speed....

  • I can't be sure but I think there's a German sausage running up and down my road....

  • I can't believe I've fallen into an Egyptian river....

  • I can't believe that I've just fallen into a river in Egypt....

  • I can't find my trip odometer....

  • I can't plan more than seven days ahead....

  • I can't take my dog to the park anymore....

  • I can't tell whether my new car's suspension is amazing, or if im sociopath....

  • I can't wait for dinner, I could eat for a whole country!...

  • I can't wait for this fall to travel to my other property in Singapore or Malaysia or Indonesia or somewhere around there....

  • I converted my car into a personal watercraft, and somehow killed its climate control....

  • I could have sworn i have heard several jokes about Foreigner here....

  • I could walk through this screen door right now....

  • I couldn't afford a driver for my limo....

  • I couldn't help it......

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