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  • I wanted to be a hot air balloon......

  • I was asked why I wanted to be cremated....

  • I was in a rock band for a......

  • I was infuriated to find my two-year-old daughter had placed my Game Boy in a bowl of ice cubes....

  • I was just drilling some holes into hardwood,......

  • I was looking at my ceiling this morning......

  • I was sick and someone told me to get well soon....

  • I was sweating when my lifelong friend approached me and I forgot his name....

  • I was unexpectedly fired from the Yamato Japanese......

  • I wish I could fit my whole...

  • I would like to piss outside but it's......

  • I would like to tell you a joke......

  • I would love to take a stand on......

  • I'll tell as many Russian jokes as I......

  • I'm a little upset....

  • I'm a pretty good ventriloquist......

  • I'm addicted to Thanksgiving meals, but my oven......

  • I'm constipated and got nothing to do....

  • I'm not proud of myself, but this actually happened....

  • I'm not sure I'd recommend a Battleship game......

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