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  • Monday and Tuesday got together on the side and made plans without telling anyone....

  • More Tom Swifties!...

  • Mother Theresa had nothing on German kids....

  • My best friend and her girlfriend gifted me a Rolex for my birthday....

  • My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick....

  • My boss told me to stop using big words....

  • My buddies named Jay......

  • My contortionist wife wants to do "the pretzel" in bed tonight....

  • My dad said he laughed at this...

  • My daughter accused me of telling dad jokes....

  • My daughter came amused to me, saying everyone......

  • My deaf wife left me for a deaf......

  • My doctor is a D***head....

  • My doctor said I didn't have a behind......

  • My dog doesn't believe in the existence of small creatures living on his body....

  • My ex-psychologist side-hustles in real estate....

  • My favourite Christmas song is NOEL....

  • My friend asked me to name two things that hold water....

  • My friend didn't know what a pickle is?...

  • My friend Eric is so nondescript....

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