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  • "If you have bare feet you have to put on shoes....

  • "interesting" friend......

  • "Just me" jokes......

  • "Kids, did you know that I met...

  • "Let me show you my cutest bowl ever!...

  • "Letter People" humor....

  • "Look", said the geologist, "I don't care what you've heard....

  • "Make one more ice pun and you're fired!...

  • "Mary Jayne's Last Dance" is my favorite Tom......

  • "May ya live as long as ya want, and not want for as long as ya live" is an Irish toast....

  • "May ya live just as long as ya want, and not want for as long as ya live," is an Irish toast....

  • "My extra winter weight is finally gone....

  • "My eyes are bigger than my stomach" is a normal thing to hear at a buffet....

  • "My good friend, when is your birthday?...

  • "please, have mercy!...

  • "Sir," said the timid employee to his boss, "my wife says I'm to ask you for a raise....

  • "Sire, the foreign dignitaries have brought gifts - an angry Oak, a grumpy Conifer and a tasteless Yew....

  • "Siri, why am I still single?...

  • "So, how's the airline food?...

  • "The Groundhog Day" is one of my favorite movies....

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