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  • I'm reading a book on anti-gravity......

  • I'm reading a book on helium....

  • I'm reading a horror book in Braille....

  • I'm so horny......

  • I'm starting a social program, reading poems to prison inmates....

  • I'm starting an app that reserves your spot at public libraries....

  • I'm the perfect father figure......

  • I'm the sort of person who has trouble......

  • I'm thinking of a number 1-to-5, what...

  • I'm told to always think outside the box......

  • I'm writing a book on reverse psychology......

  • I'm writing a script on the history of puns....

  • I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for....

  • I've been arrested for poaching mushrooms, but never found guilty....

  • I've been called a stable person so many times....

  • I've been dressing very conservatively for weeks now due to a typo in an email....

  • I've been having a bad time of late......

  • I've been in a debate with "free the nipple" activist....

  • I've been on edge ever since my last......

  • I've been reading all of your "jokes" on here for a while and I would like to say just one thing....

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