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  • I don't want my kids to watch orchestra......

  • I don't watch the NFL, so I don't know who Taylor Swift is....

  • I doubt this will get much attention, due to the limited target audience, but it did make my wife groan....

  • I dreamed I was a vinyl record....

  • I dropped my waffle at the beach....

  • I enjoy singing in the shower......

  • I failed to qualify for work singing like a soprano sheep....

  • I fainted in the curry house when i heard REM had split up....

  • I forgot how boomerangs work......

  • I forgot which direction I threw my boomerang....

  • I found a Chingy CD on the floor....

  • I found my dad's old set of drums......

  • I gave my kids one last chance to stop playing their whistle in the house....

  • I get called selfish when I pick Believe......

  • I got an AWOLNATION album half price....

  • I got an email last night from a......

  • I got asked why I'm selling a woodwind instrument....

  • I got expelled from my mime class....

  • I got in line to watch Oppenheimer around lunchtime, but I realized it was three hours long and I was starving....

  • I got into an argument with a guy......

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