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  • I installed an electric fence for my dog......

  • I invented a machine to detect smells, and I'm going to call it "The 0....

  • I just bought a dog from a blacksmith......

  • I just cut a new pattern in the lawn....

  • I just found out my Doctor was arrested while traveling over the Christmas break....

  • I just got a job in television where I adjust audio levels and change input channels, both of which I can do from home....

  • I just got a tattoo on my left butt cheek....

  • I just got a work position in old McDonald's farm....

  • I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory....

  • I just got fired from work for sleeping with my boss....

  • I just got promoted at the farm!...

  • I just hired a pirate onto the...

  • I just learned that Japanese police officers have......

  • I just put up an electric fence around my house....

  • I just quit my job as a gym personal trainer because the weights were too heavy....

  • I just quit my job to go throw......

  • I just read about a Hollywood actor who is always ready to eat cereal for every meal....

  • I just realized my kitchen countertop is made out of marble....

  • I just retired today!...

  • I just spent the last 3 hours changing......

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