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  • I am not married......

  • I am planning to return my new sunglasses after they got broken during a fight with my abusive wife....

  • I am reading a book on....

  • I am relatively poor....

  • I am so broke....

  • I applied for a job at a haunted......

  • I ask a lady out and she said her step mom would not approve of me....

  • I asked a pirate if he knew what......

  • I asked my brother in law if he made dinner reservations....

  • I asked my dad if he has any life advice for me?...

  • I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up....

  • I asked my girlfriend to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up....

  • I asked my North Korean friend how it was there....

  • I asked my Scottish grandfather if he had a favorite body part....

  • I asked my wife when her birthday was....

  • I asked the waitress if I could ask......

  • I ate natural food....

  • I attached a clock to my belt......

  • I blamed a middle eastern shepherds flock on the problems with terrorists etc before I sprinted off....

  • I boiled my funny bone....

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