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  • To whoever stole my security camera......

  • To write history books I'm changing my name......

  • Today a skeleton threatened me......

  • Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance....

  • Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance....

  • Today I came home to find the Grim......

  • Today I found out Dwayne Johnson lives in the apartment above mine....

  • Today I learned that because Gandhi walked everywhere barefoot he had thick, tough foot soles, and he chewed on a type of tree bark that gave him bad breath and made him very frail and sickly....

  • Today I lost a paper airplane....

  • Today I made my first money as a......

  • Today I really screwed Up......

  • Today I took a seat....

  • Today is my wife's 40th birthday......

  • Today is Saint Patrick's Day....

  • Today is the worst day of the year......

  • Today marks the 200th anniversary of when European settlers discovered the American Buffalo....

  • Today someone stole my limbo stick......

  • Today, I learned that Descartes was conceptualizing a video conferencing program....

  • Told a fashion streamer he was looking fly......

  • Told dad jokes before I was a father......

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