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My mother used to say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach....
My mycologist girlfriend has a great sense of humor....
My name is Dav......
My neighbor gave birth to quadruplets last week......
My new date told me she identifies as......
My new male sex toy is subscription based......
My niece calls me ankle......
My niece was the only girl student in her class of engineering....
My now ex-GF said:...
My parents raised me as an only...
My parents told me I'm 50% Captain Marvel ....
My partner just asked me to help put......
My partner says "It's supposed to rain today"......
My partner told me to stop impersonating a......
My pastor asked me how do I view......
My penis was in the book of Guinness......
My political beliefs are like my penis....
My pregnant wife insisted she get a window installed on her uterus....
My quadriplegic girlfriend left me......
My relationship with a girl I matched on Tinder was going great until she suffered a psychotic episode insisting that she was part-crab....
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