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  • How will OJ Simpson fit in his coffin?...

  • I always wanted to be a mortician....

  • I can't tell Dad Jokes anymore......

  • I come from a long line of terrible......

  • I couldn't find the obituaries in the newspaper......

  • I got fired because I smile alot......

  • I got fired for telling customers if they wanted "smoking or non-smoking"....

  • I got fired on the first day of my new job for asking customers if they would prefer "Smoking or Non-Smoking....

  • I hate double standards....

  • I hate it when my aunties and grannies come up to me at weddings and say "You're next....

  • I hate people who do funerals at 8am......

  • I have very strict requirements about when I......

  • I inherited precious metals like silver and gold from my uncle, but when his wife died, she only left ....

  • I inherited precuous metals like gold and silver from my rich uncle but when his wife died she only left....

  • I knew a guy who thought all books were a communist plot....

  • I lost my job as a zoo keeper after many animals died....

  • I made a typo, when I ordered the tombstone for my granddad....

  • I once lived just a stone's throw away......

  • I read an inspiring quote today:...

  • I recently lost half my body....

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