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  • I worked in a factory cutting marble and granite slabs for kitchen surfaces....

  • I would like to reach the Pinnacle of the dad jokes Spectrum, yet I don't have children and the doctor just told me my chances don't look good going forward....

  • I would love to tell you about my......

  • I would never let my son join the orchestra....

  • I wouldn't buy anything with velcro....

  • I wrote a book about reverse psychology....

  • I yelled COW at a woman......

  • I'd like someone to settle this debate......

  • I'll never forget my Grandfather's last words before he fell off that ladder....

  • I'm a boxer and bartender......

  • I'm a die-hard protester, as opposed to my students....

  • I'm a heavyweight boxer, but a dad comic......

  • I'm about to hop into my EV and head to the Dam....

  • I'm an assassin and someone stole my rice so I removed the pin from a grenade and gave it to them....

  • I'm appalled and really can't believe all the tasteless jokes about the Titanic submarine....

  • I'm being framed for a crime!...

  • I'm calling all painters, sculptors and architects!...

  • I'm confused why Lowe's delivered my bathroom vanity......

  • I'm don't really trust the cross eyed girl I'm dating....

  • I'm going to defeat you with the power of friendship!...

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