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  • My sweater picks up too much static electricity......

  • My uncle has a prosthetic leg but that doesn't stop him from getting down on the dance floor....

  • My uncle the arsonist was well liked at parties....

  • My wedding was so emotional......

  • My wife and I had sex in Chernobyl......

  • My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table....

  • My wife asked what I thought about Oppenheimer....

  • My wife convinced me that electric bulbs are......

  • My wife says I can't keep running my two-stroke at 12:...

  • My wife told me the spark was gone......

  • My wife told me to keep the noise......

  • My wife told our son not to play with electricity....

  • No one seems to appreciate the work I do installing new Hot Water systems....

  • None of the donated charity phones every worked....

  • Not a dad body......

  • Not a joke (literally just happened)......

  • Nothing is weightless,......

  • One redneck rocket scientist to the other....

  • Opened my water bill and electric bill today....

  • People are usually shocked when they find out......

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