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My friend Will loves his protein so much he carries it around everywhere....
My friends and I went to a cooking......
My girlfriend asked me why I put the......
My girlfriend said she'd break up with me if I kept making puns about our seasonings and spices....
My girlfriend spilt hummus all over her....
My grandfather died after falling in a bowl of fruit cake mix....
My heater and stove have been acting up for months and I smell a leak, but every time the gas company comes to look they say nothing is wrong....
My kids love it when I cook during allergy season....
My late cousin became famous after people saw videos of him choking on Arabic chickpea dip....
My late wife......
My longer than a year ongoing dad joke......
My neighbor who loves to BBQ was arrested yesterday....
My neighbor's girlfriend left him because of his obsession with pasta....
My people are starting to make me sick....
My son asked me to make him a sandwich....
My son swears he didn't ruin our new non-stick pan....
My son tried to buy my love with a crisp 10-dollar bill....
My steak always comes out fine....
My throat closes up when I'm around rice......
My toast really loves me......
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