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  • I got my son a flask for Christmas....

  • I hate when people ask me what I'm......

  • I have an uncanny ability to predict what my wife got me for Christmas....

  • I heard that Chris Rea was moonlighting as a cabbie over the holidays....

  • I just found out my Doctor was arrested while traveling over the Christmas break....

  • I just learned lots of people like wrapping......

  • I like to mark my calendar with bright neon colors....

  • I love Niel Diamond's Christmas Songs....

  • I quite like my Christmas Tree this year....

  • I stopped up the toilet this morning....

  • I think I won Christmas......

  • I walked into a toy store to do some early Christmas shopping and asked the assistant, "Where are the Schwarzenegger dolls?...

  • I was christmas caroling at the psychiatric ward......

  • I went Christmas shopping and asked the associate where the Schwarzenegger dolls were....

  • I'm bringing out a version of the Band Aid song 'Duvet Know It's Christmas?...

  • I'm getting my bald friend a comb for Christmas....

  • I'm gonna get you a fridge for Christmas......

  • I'm in a band called The Comforters....

  • I'm surprised that the jokes in Christmas crackers......

  • I've bought my wife a fridge for Christmas....

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